Insanity
by 11X.d
Summary: Dearka was a partial gateway from his insanity, a temporary one until the next pang of pain returned. DearkaYzak


Summary: Years of war has finally made Yzak loose his edge.

Authors Notes: Well, this I'm not that proud of. But I have always wanted to post a G/S story, and now I did. I feel I should really post a longer fic, but I'm sorry but I am not getting any ideas nor am I positive I'll remain along with the story. I apologize if it's OOC. And the ending I think, is really awkward. Also, I think this isn't one of my best works...Anyways, I would appreciate constructive critism, and reviews. and yeah now on to the story

* * *

Deep crimson swirling in his crystal glass seemed so uncanny and the strange taste of metallic came back in his mouth foully. Instead of the rich scent of wine or the smooth flow, the wine seemed thicker and stickier then it should. He put the glass to his mouth with shaking hands. His mouth hesitantly opened up and let the liquid flow in. He should have tasted red wine, should have smelt liquor and grapes, but the numbness in his senses were now even disrupting his sense of taste. Again he put the glass down, but his eyes could never seem to leave glass as the taste of metal lingered in his mouth.

"Yzak-- Yzak?" A voice interrupted Yzak's thoughts. He quickly looked over to the voice. Dearka's tanned and grinning was looking over at him with slightly widened eyes.

Yzak's eyes was troubling him, as most of his senses now…Dearka's widened eyes which were widened with curiosity seemed to be widened in fear and pain now. His face that was unharmed seemed to be bleeding, and twisted in agony and the restaurant they were at were suddenly disturbed into a battlefield, the chair he was sitting on was the seat of a Gundam mobile and Dearka was his opponent. An opponent he had just killed. He let out a small gasp when again a voice interrupted him.

"Is anything the matter? Yzak?"

"N-No. Nothing is the matter." Despite his calm expression his palms were getting sweaty and his heartbeat increased, and each throb echoed in his ear.

"You seemed to be on edge today. Are you sure your fine?" Dearka's voice took on a worried tone.

"I'm fine. It's just…the food's awful here."

"You didn't touch your food."

A point taken. Yzak looked down on the steak and mashed potatoes with sweet peas on the side. It wasn't touched at all. He grabbed the fork and knife took a piece of the steak off and took a bite. Chewed it and swallowed.

"I'm fine see?" Yzak said chewing.

Dearka sighed, "If you say so." Shrugging it off as he went back to his own food.

* * *

The rather quiet and dull date had ended and Yzak was sitting in the passenger seat waiting for Dearka to come back from paying their meal. The door clicked open and he was greeted with Dearka's clear face grinning slightly.

"Hey," Dearka said smiling as he put the car into gear. Yzak acknowledged his presence with a slight nod staring out into the window. "Put on your seatbelt."

"Oh, yeah." With lack of a conscience he pulled on the seatbelt and with a click it locked. A familiar click echoed in his ears, his hands gripped the armrests tightly as a hoarse breath was let out. '_Yzak Joule, Duel, Launching' _echoed softly in his ears as rushes of gears rustling and the full speed of the GUNDAM launching pressured his chest.

"Yzak! Are you sure your fine?" Dearka asked once more.

"I told you I'm fucking fine!" Yzak snapped at the blond, nails digging into the rich fabric of the interior. A heavy period passed, neither of them speaking. Breaking the tensed atmosphere of the car Yzak spoke up.

"I-I'm sorry I was such a fucking awful date." Yzak spoke bitterly looking out the window. On the reflection of the car's tinted window he saw the blonde's face light up in a grin.

"It's not the first time I've dealt with you, I'm used to it."

Yzak looked to face Dearka again the glint in his amethyst eyes still sparking with passion and youth as the day he met him. Yzak looked at himself in the rearview mirror. The dark circles around his eyes and the softly gray tinted skin was showing on his face making him look older then he is, the cheeks sunken in slightly from stress, and the whites of his eyes red and strained from lack of sleep. Even the war's remains presented themselves every time he looked in the mirror.

* * *

This time scotch was poured into his shot glass, as he again remained focused on the cool liquid sliding into his glass. The other handed liquor over to him, as he wrapped his arm around the other and softly they did a love shot. The strong alcohol burned his throat as it made it's way down his throat, leaving a sour aftertaste on his lips.

Soon scotch was replaced with warm lips, softly kissing away the world and leaving room for only them. Yzak closed his eyes as Dearka slowly led him into the dim-lighted bedroom. His lips softly moving against Dearka's in a sensual manner he locked his fingers with Dearka's as he let himself be pushed back on to the bed.

Yzak felt locked in ecstasy, away from any hallucinations, memories of war, military life, losses and any other possible outbreaks in his life. Dearka was a partial gateway from his insanity, a temporary one until the next pang of pain returned.

His body fogged over with alcohol, and mind burdened with pain Yzak locked his fingers tighter with Dearka's pulling the other closer. Anything to escape or distract him away from his own mind, to unlock his own prison even for a few moments, he was desperate.

* * *

Stretched out over Dearka, Yzak lay with his head turned sideways on Dearka's toned chest. Dearka's chest moved up and down as Yzak's ears listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. One-two, one-two… Dearka's hands softly caressed Yzak's silver locks and his pale shoulders. The pale shoulders lined with goose bumps shriveled closer to Dearka's warmer body.

Yzak's hands fluttered over to Dearka's, entwining their fingers together. Every affectionate touch, soft embrace or warm words seemed to be at a loss, when the cold shivers ran down his spine as the nightmares of hallucination took place again.

Even when Dearka placed a soft kiss on the top of Yzak's forehead, the trail of tears down his cheeks didn't stop...


End file.
